by mariah estran
photo by sasha genenfeld
Stepping out of your comfort zone, especially for an artist, isn't easy. For the musician VeeAlwaysHere, it was a move that needed to be taken.
“I wanted to challenge myself, and let go of my ego and have fun with it,” he says on his new EP, ego: playlist I. “I did this project as a consumer of music first and an artist second.”
The recent project takes you on a journey of genres. From buoyant pop and synth-infused numbers to chill R&B moments and Korean verses, it’s a delightful mix. One which shows his admiration for the craft as he pushes himself to the next level.
Born in Russia, English was not his first language. However, after discovering MTV, a fascination with American music began. “I found myself sitting there, staring, just listening. I couldn’t understand a single word, but I loved it so much, the way it sounded,” he explains. Music became a way to express himself as it served as a guide for the English language.
Now, ego: playlist I is the new chapter in the story, a step towards becoming the artist he’s visualized for years.
VeeAlwaysHere told us more about his EP. He explains navigating the array of genres, singing in Korean, finding his passion for music, and how his latest work documents his growth.
You’ve just released your EP, which I know you also call a playlist (ego: playlist I) because of the mix of genres and inspirations. The project encouraged you to be more versatile. How did this project help you get out of your comfort zone?
VeeAlwaysHere: “There are two different types of songs you can make. You can make comfortable music — music that falls out of you effortlessly. It’s so easy; it’s on brand. It’s something that’s been done a million times.
Then, you make uncomfortable music. The music that never leaves your computer or Dropbox, the music that no one is supposed to hear.
So, this entire project is full of uncomfortable music. It’s the stuff I normally wouldn’t put out. But I wanted to challenge myself, let go of my ego and have fun with it. I did this project as a consumer of music first and then as an artist second.”
I know you wrote and produced this EP. How did you navigate the mix of sounds and genres you wanted to integrate into these tracks?
VeeAlwaysHere: “I like to reverse-engineer my music. First, I focus on the feeling or the emotion I want people to experience when they listen to the song. Then, I go backwards with this destination in mind and take whatever steps I need to arrive there.
I didn’t have any specific genres in mind and didn’t plan anything. It’s just how it came out. I always made sure I did something weird or something uncomfortable I didn't do before.
I didn’t know what to expect every single time with every single song, and that was the most exciting part for me.”
I want to talk about the song “right now” with jujuland. You pushed yourself to sing in Korean. What inspired you to go back to your roots and add this to this EP?
VeeAlwaysHere: “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m a big fan of K-pop. I wasn’t fortunate enough — being half Korean, I, unfortunately, wasn’t raised with a lot of the language. I’ve been putting it off, but this song was the perfect opportunity to slowly introduce Korean into my life.
The featured artist (jujuland) on the song really helped me out. She helped me with the lines and everything. She even sent me a voice message on Instagram about how to sing it. I recorded the first demo, and I sent it to her. Once I got that first approval, I was like, ‘We’re doing it. It’s definitely happening.’
Before and on release day, I was very nervous about how people would react or receive it. So far, it’s been incredible. It’s extra motivation to keep doing it and keep learning Korean. Maybe I’ll make an entire song in Korean one day.”
Reading about your background, I know music was a way to overcome a language barrier. You didn’t give up, which is incredible. How would you say music and making your music helped you keep going?
VeeAlwaysHere: “If I look at my life from an outsider's perspective, I was born Russian, not speaking or understanding English. One day, in elementary school, I turned the TV on, and it was MTV. Back when they used to play music videos back-to-back. I found myself sitting there, staring, just listening. I couldn’t understand a single word, but I loved it so much, the way it sounded.
English was just magical for me. I started writing little songs when I was 8 or 9 years old in gibberish that resembled English. Then, some years later, I got serious about it — going to a school to learn English. It was okay. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted — it was still helpful.
So, I had to do it myself because I dreamt of moving to the US and pursing music, being an American/English speaking music artist.”
There’s no doubt you motivated yourself as an artist to explore multiple avenues, whether it be sound and creativity or understanding who you are as a person. How do you feel this EP helped you mature as an artist?
VeeAlwaysHere: “Producing all these different records — the title track, ‘ego,’ is a genre I never tapped into as an artist. The song ‘Maybe,’ which is a drum and bass song — I’ve also never done.
I’ve grown a lot, I’m ready to do more and explore more.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned from this experience was to make music that you like, music that you want to listen to because, at the end of the day, it’s such a bumpy ride. That love, that passion will carry you through no matter what.
The amount of excitement and love that I still have for this project is nothing I’ve ever experienced. I want to continue finding that for myself and my future projects.”